Tomorrow could be the most wonderful day of your life...the day you waited for which you waited so much , for all the things that you did so far. Remember why you started this all to grow as a person , Remember your parents..Remember the people who believe in you since your childhood..remember all those experiences that made you the wonderful "You".remember your passion defines you...who you are an optimist , enthusiast ,some one who warms hearts by her smile...just remember all those people who told you they want to be like you..You are not afraid , not any more..you are excited to date your destiny...You are the best, best that can be...you aced all those exams , worked your way , adapted too fast , impressed everyone earned honours in pediatrics..You didnt waste any time of life deciding what you want from life...you always knew..you have always been very focussed , making your parents proud for being the kind of person you are...You came from the smallest possible town to the biggest city of the world without any fear..Your spirit defines you and when you meet some one the way you take genuine interest in people ,the way you smile from your heart because you are happy with your life ..Happiness is your virue .
Pediatrics , the best possible patient care is what you want to do in life...You like to be the best...You have come so far to become the best..You love to shine...So when you wake up tomorrow remember all those times which made you so amazing..as a person , as a student as an applicant..So go out there and remember what Sir told you once...You know how brilliant you are...but your examiner will only know how brilliant your paper is...So tomorrow Just make your interviwer and people you meet realize how fantastically brilliant you are..and how rocking pediatrician you are going to be.

Picture this-
You look at your best...making the heads turn , in your crispy suit..Making people note that you take yourself seriously.. When you walk ...your calm and confident manner makes everyone wonder you must be some one really important ...And then you enter and you smile...it is evident you are warm..and you are sure about yourself...sexy yet casual...It is who you are not what you are trying...
You interview and make sure the person you talked to had one of the best conversations of the day...He couldnt help but be amazed by your passion and confidence..you are just the person he wants to work with in a team...It is been such a pleasure meeting you...
Go Dear! You waited so much for this fairy tale ...it is yet again your day to make papa proud :)

Even when i am mad at you, I still love you. Just listened to this dialogue.
That is how dads love :)

What i am going to write now only one person can understand, if you arent the one you will just get confused. You can never understand untill you have felt.

Truth can be stranger than fiction.It is amusing how some people just reach your soul even if you had just shared thirty minutes of life with them. And then there are people you spend your entire life with and they never discover the spirit in you.
It is comforting to know that in this universe , you touch certain lives. You are part of someone's most treasured memories. Someone can feel the warmth of your heart
not judge you by your successes and failures.It is a miracle. Miracle doesnt happen every day but they do happen once in a life time.
Some moments mean more than life. Some thoughts can make you travel in time..years back..wow!and you still feel those emotions as fresh as ever. Some people always make you smile by the way they touch your life even if it was just few minutes.

I am nervous a bit . Tommorow is my interview, an interview that matters.
Feeling the kind of feeling which I once had when i first went to the stage for speech competition in 6th standard.
Oh my God! My back muscles are all tensed. I am feeling tensed right now.
Breathe ! Breathe ! Breathe!

Life is all but a chance. It is the chances you take and what you make out of them.
A very important point in life is accepting the importance of events. You have to come out of Denial. I know so many people who never accept things matter to them and find an alternative.Truth is all path close ,when you chose a path. So dont be shy and tell yourself this matters in life. I want this thing to happen. Dont thing what if it doesnt happen. If never happens. Future is not ours to see. But today is ours to live . Live it with all your heart , follow your dreams and breathe with passion.
Life is your canvas , spill some colors , take that brush and go ahead write your destiny.

Coming back to the interview , it is a chance to meet some new good people.

Kyu dare ki zindagi me aage kya hoga , kuch nai to tajurba hoga!!! :) :) :) :)

Hazaron khwaishe aisi

Desires are fuel to achievement. Over the years i have observed there is no end of desires. You can have the whole world and still want more.Today was "Black Friday", a day dedicated to consumerism. Fashion , Electronics ,Utility items everything was on a grand sale. So I also went out and became a viewer of this shopping bonanza.
Though i have never been too good with money. I have been through the times when i would buy a pair of silver stiletos just because they were cute , ignoring the fact that i had another three pairs already. I have seen the times when i had so many clothes that i would shop and forget about it and not have the time to wear them for more than an year.I have been a shopaholic. I have had everything in abundance. And i dont know how today i am feeling like that i should accept that i have been a little spoilt..may be not just a little.
So if you are the small kid , who is always pampered you get an illusion you can have everything you wish. Luckily i get everything i wish, but it is hard to organize . So this black friday i didnt buy anything . When i dont need something, what is the point in buying it just because it is on sale. And honestly i have more stuff than i need. I have everything i want. I wonder when i gained this insight.
It is very amusing to see materialistic people. It is so eaay for them to be happy.
Most of the people who come to america get attracted to the scintillating capitalist strategies. And irony of my life is the biggest lesson i have learnt here is you dont need things to be happy. Because things that matter in life are not things at all.

Its futile to compare your destiny to others. Everyone has a different journey , different means, different goals and aspirations.
But only thing under contol is dreaming and creating your destiny.
Go ahead win your world..carry your sunshine along you.

Luck is the crossroad where oppurtunity meets preparation :)

Every person experiences love once in their life. Whether it is true love or not; or lasts forever or not is another story. But every time you watch a romantic movie, there is definitely someone special on your mind.

Equations change. Wavelengths change. People change. So do you as well as me.
Welcome future. Celebrate present. Its beautiful how everything canges.
I have seen newyork in so many different colours now.Refreshing spring, Silent fall and Pure White winter.
I love pulse of this city. The Fashion capital , The Financial Capital of the world.
Big Apple. The moment you step in you feel the energy.This jungle of concrete with beautiful gardens sprinkled in between always has new surprises in store.The MTA is the lifeline of this city. Looking at the subway map you can never imagine how differentfrom eachother Bronx , Brooklyn , Manhattan and Queens can be.
You sit in a train and the first thing you notice is there are not much colours. Neutral shades like grey and black are what everyone wears. People from all over the world , speaking different languages can be found in a single train.
The second thing that will catch your eye is that everyone has a book to read . So many different subjects, topics , authors to view. Newyork loves to read. A book is your best friend suits every true newyorker.
The next amazing thing is it is very hard to find someone without earphones on. Apple is found everywhere in the Big Apple.
Landmarks, Bridges , Museums, Gardens , Different Cuisines,Shopping malls and rocking night life. This city never sleeps.

"Get a life!!" I have said this phrase lots of times in past. But now i have understood ,its about building a life. After twenty days of thinking, i finally have a plan. Okay , I know I still dont know what I want in next five years. But I know for sure what I want to do in this year.Time for the adventure to begin. Wish me luck!!!! :)

Sometimes no one understands you, not even the ones who love you. And you have to complete the journey alone.Life at its worst.

I was 2 when ma went to study and Dad decided to take charge in his hands. And thus began our adventure. Waking me up, getting me ready for school, feeding me my breakfast, making my lunch, dropping me to the school bus, taking me to the evening walks, bribing me with chocolates and fruity was just few daily chores which were added to the ever busy schedule of my dad. I wonder how when I was small I never came to know my dad was a busy man. He was always there for me.
A 2-year-old little girl was told that her 10-year-old sister, Dad and Mom, loved her. And somehow I learnt the most important lesson of my life that Love is not influenced by distance.
Dad taught me it was impossible to fail if I try sincerely. He will never fall for excuses.
I was an intelligent kid but most of the times it was the genes I had inherited working or it was my dads reflection on me. Every time I was messed up in life it was dads faith in me that helped me get better of circumstances. He was always so sure that I could never fail that I started believing it myself.

You can't cross a sea by merely
staring into the water."
- Rabindranath Tagore

A vision, An idea is of no use , unless put into action. Action defines the outome.
Efforts and hardwork gives the confidence.To try and not give up till the last second. To hang on when everyone else has given up, produces genius.

If you could just travel back in time...
Some moments stay forever..they mean more than entire lifetime.
Its strange at times you miss someone who is with you. You realize that all you ever wanted was already with you.
You know it is love, when it hurts.

I had sat down to write on a piece of paper some lines, which will decide my destiny. If at all destiny exists .I don’t know. May be I will never know. And then you don’t need to know everything that happens on this earth. If it involves your life, I guess a few parts should be left to wonder. I mean, why steal life of its mystery? It is the sense of illusion that makes this experience unique.
Belief in a thing makes it happen. As the September approaches I think I can say that. If you truly believe, faith is always rewarded. There is something that always puzzles me. Should faith be blind? Or should it be reinforced by reason. Trust is the biggest gift, though not as beautiful, but definitely more valuable than love itself.
Its amusing to observe how many people in life we trust enough to take the mask off us and just be us around them. So how many people do you trust? And more important how many people trust you?

I had sat down to write on a piece of paper some lines, which will decide my destiny. If at all destiny exists .I don’t know. May be I will never know. And then you don’t need to know everything that happens on this earth. If it involves your life, I guess a few parts should be left to wonder. I mean, why steal life of its mystery? It is the sense of illusion that makes this experience unique.
Belief in a thing makes it happen. As the September approaches I think I can say that. If you truly believe, faith is always rewarded. There is something that always puzzles me. Should faith be blind? Or should it be reinforced by reason. Trust is the biggest gift, though not as beautiful, but definitely more valuable than love itself.
Its amusing to observe how many people in life we trust enough to take the mask off us and just be us around them. So how many people do you trust? And more important how many people trust you?

"If someone tells you suck, perhaps its because you really suck but just work harder and harder to overcome all the hurdles

Read this line today..... somehow fits this phase of my life so well. Its not that "Today is the 1st day of rest of my life,but that now is all there of my life "

"Success seems to be largely a matter
of hanging on after others have let go."

Time to end this in style :)

For true success ask yourself these four
questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?"-James Allen

i dont give up..not like this.

Apni naiya Ram bharose

Not everything is under our control, but luckily few are. The trick is to concentrate on what is under your will.
Right now the date , the interview, verification..are things i cant do anything about at all. But i have my exam in a week ,i can surely put efforts to ace that at least.
"Unhoni honi nahi, honi ho so hoye..Ram bharose chodke nishchint hokar soye" - tulsidas.

To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can."


As is our confidence so is our capacity

First of all i am thankful i have some true friends..people who stand by me, who remind me who i am , when i sometimes forget.I am lucky and truly blessed.
There is only thing i like about myself and that is the habbit of not looking back ...not wasting anytime to think what could have been..there is only present.
so i am starting today with all my heart , all my passion , all my will and just everything i have on this journey.
MY GOAL -- DO MY BEST...MY BEST DEFINES ME...Now i am not going to wait for it to end ...i am going to LIVE IT ,ENDURE IT...Every second is a chance to turn it all around.
I always believe ..if you want something it will happen..its been my dream to be a double 99er...and i think dreams deserve everything ..do everything that matters..
There is always a way if you are committed..and good enough is not enough if u dream of being great.
Very few people get the chance to pursue their dreams...i have a chance. A fair chance . Thank God for showing me the way , nurturing my soul..this is my karma ..This has been a long journey , it deserves a great ending.

LESSONS FROM MEDSCHOOL
I never expected 6 years could teach me so many things..i mean it feels like a different life when i look back and am a different person. When i started with it, i knew everything i wanted from life , where i wanted to be at the end of 10yrs , with whom , doing what .. and now after been there done that, i am clueless but atleast i have an open mind. This is what i learnt so far.
1.What goes around comes around-- ya life is short, so if there was 1 subject or even 1 topic that you didnt read with your heart, accept it honey it will haunt you forever , in 1 exam / next prof / enterance/ step..you will have to fix it sometime . There is just no escape.
2.When i study hard..work my soul out..the only way to know if i had a efficient day, is my handwriting at the end, if it looks like i have got parkinsonism, job was well done
3.All nighters are over rated ..though they are loads of fun. n yeah they are benign , you can go on to have a perfect day the very next day. Human body has all the reserve to work for 36 hours. All nighters doesnt really hurt your performance. If you know it ,its inside your head..no worries
4.Anxiety > coffee> coffee> More Anxiety > More Coffee...till caffeine receptors are downregulated and your neurons run out of all the spark and u doze off.
5.Sleep is a luxury...after all these years i can proudly say being a medico I can sleep anywhere( ward/ labour room/ casuality/ Lecture theatres) on any surface( bed/ table / chair/ LT desks) with any thing( books/ bones/food /lappy/fone) on my bed.
There are more to add ,which i surely will enumerate in my next study break
I go a little crazy before my exams ..so am trying to live upto my standards of madness.

This is no doubt the most happening year of my life. I have been moving forward with such a pace , that at times i wonder it might be just a dream. Everything around has changed and everyone i love in life is entering a different / new phase of their lives. Life changes fast . Change at most of the times is a little uncomfortable.
No one will understand my state right now, nor do i expect them too. May be when everything is over, may be when this all ends i might get the chance to undo the damage. At times i wish i had some more time . I hope things would be better post june. Hope floats.

Its one of those days when i just have to write. My CS is due in 4 days...and i am nervous. Time flies too fast..I am a little anxious/nervous and what not!
Frustration is the beginning of medicine , i just read somewhere. Finally its time for the next step..time to cross another obstacle.
The whole electives/ dean issue/ internship and CS scheduling has been a little disturbing and the to make things better i have some personal mess also.
Let bygones be bygones..The truth is finally i have 2 exams lined up ..Its time to be focussed...just 5 days N CS phewww!!!! i have to focus on this now...no more CK poping in my head...i m not even sure which exam is actually making me nervous CS Or CK
I guess all i have to do is be focussed on my CS..i can only handle 1 thing at 1 time...so i better take care of CS, because i wont get a single day back for it. and then i will do CK.
1 STEP at a time.

I am packing up my bags and yeah i m leaving my room and a phase of my lfe here.
Its a beautiful sadness...and i m not feeling sleepy. I want to feel this moment , and i know i will move on soon . But i guess tonight i am going to relive my college , my MBBS and the past 6 years.
6 years... long time , i know. So many things have changed ...I have been to heaven as well as hell. I have been in my share of mess, felt exhilarating highs as well as crashing lows.I have been hurt as well as healed. I have lived, i have felt alive.
There are so many things i want to write about...
I was never sure of doing medicine..n these years made me realize , how much i liked it..i was made for it. This wasnt a coincidence , it was my destiny. I was born to be a doc..n i luv every moment of it. When i am alone , hurt , broken my work give me pleasure and company. I am a workaholic and i luv every moment of it.
Friends change with time..people grow in different dimensions and we change.Its okay.
But there are few people who share part of your lives you can never forget.Invest in good friendships..its worth it. Trust people
Dont worry if you are not certain what to do about something..Answers will find you. just be patient even if its difficult.
Love , something you can never plan in life..dont take it for granted when it appears.The most beautiful thing about 1st love is the illusion it will never end.
Dreams , the only thing that keeps us going. Let no one tell you that your dreams are silly or impossible.Never let weeds grow around them ..Its your life , your vision , your journey...make it your masterpiece. Just because someone else failed , doesnt mean you will also get the same answer. Live your dreams
Success is sexy. The world remembers you as your last success. But failures define who you are. If you can rise up after a failure , thats real courage.Everyone wants to ride with you in a limo , when all you want is someone who can walk with you when the limo breaks down
You never know yourself..there are dimensions of you , you will keep on discovering.
Its an irony at times you will discover you never really wanted what you were running after, when all you really wanted was what you already had.Never mind!
Letting go or holding on to something , is not really a question. Let your heart answer it for you. Put aside the ego , hurt and your brain. AT times just do what your heart answers in a single breath ..what makes you truly happy. Take chances
And when the time comes just Move on...because there are new horizons to be discovered and new beginnings to be made. Life is short.

My goodness!! i have been in such a high intensity emotional melodrama for quite sometime. I was literally lost.Life's too short to live for somebody else's dream..live it for yourself thats what he said. and this time he was right, afterall he knew me for 13 yrs n considering the fact i m 22 right now, that makes it more than half of my lifetime.
I cant believe how could i forget what i wanted? how could i forget myself?
This is the time of uncertainity and confusion....its not that i m afraid,its just that lots of things are changing, i need time to adapt , adjust and realize what i really want.
To be honest i want to be left alone..with no emotional demands , no boundations , no promises.
I want this time for myself...ya just for me. i want to live my dream..expand my horizons..move on from this place and this phase...i just want to let go and let this experience sink in. Afterall its my life. I have a right on my time.I just want to live in this moment...not thinking what will happen next. I dont even care what has happened till now and what is going to be later...i just care about this moment ...and i want it just for myself.

This part of my life is called " Happyness"

I seriously have no clue what is happening right now..I mean i never planned this exactly..but somehow it feels gud..last few days of my internship left.
It seems perfect right now..gud work , gud studies n gud frns..
For a change i m not bothered what happens next...m just trying to live these 20 days...m not sure about anything , except one i m gonna miss my college days.

If

There are no ifs, and buts in life.There is no space for could have beens and would have beens...But still at times u miss what u never had.
Its soooo confusing..i m leaving rohtak in 20 days..i m moving on , i guess.There are some people who are gonna stay here and miss me.
What if i had just stayed back , if i had just given PG enterance , fallen in luv and lived here for some more time.I was happy here..i wish to come back after sometime..n i know things change with time..i might change with time.
If it was suppose to be , it would have been true by now. right? I guess this isnt my destiny....this was beautiful but it wasnt meant to be. And this is what i tell myself.

I dont know , if its me or the phase of my life..But yeah too much romance and mush can be nauseating i feel.
Actions speak louder than words..Fairweather friends are not welcome for sometime.
I dont know ,how i manage to attract and keep jerks in my life.I believe everyone deserves a second chance . And then some people can just never understand.There is a limit to be selfish. Whats the whole point if u can write poetry but cant be a strong shoulder for someone to cry.If you run away , when you were needed..what makes you think you can come back when and as you wish.
Being luved deeply gives you strength and luving sum1 deeply gives you courage.

Cry , when you need to.There is no point holding on to those tears.

Hone ko ho sakta hai , its possible!

After being confused for a long time..i finally found my answers.Ever happened to you, that you were in a mess , and suddenly you wake up in one morning and everything starts to fall in place.As if someone just changed the whole picture...Life changhes every few hours.
Brokenhearts, Swollen eyes , Shattered dreams and the gloom of this place , i expected it to happen but never knew ill feel so sad..its hard to be happy when all your friends are not..Misery is contagious.I felt sad about everything and everyone, but i have accepted that everyone has to overtake their journey, you cant do much about it. Everyone has to fight their own fears..and the journey is worthy.

So focussing back on my life, my journey..
Got lost and distracted.Took some time off to think it over.Back to business now.
Objectively speaking-
i achieved whatever i planned last year..
1. i planned well
2. i sticked to it

This year didnt get much time to plan , so was really troubled..Dreams without deadlines are just wishes.
This year its going to be challenging...there will be lots of things.. My life is on rocks again.. So that means if situations dont get better of me and i can actually rise to the occassion , This might turn out to be the most memorable year of my life.
This might just be the time , which when i look back might make me feel i did something in my life...atleast i tried , i took the risk.
If its a success , will be the biggest till now...If its a failure it ,will be the devastating one too...Never mind it will be an experience in itself.
Now onwards things will get complicated and i guess i will just better with time.
Lets see how life goes...i m not sure what will happen , but one thing is for sure i will try my best , ill just give my best shot and not ask for a second chance.
2010 is all about discovering myself....last year of my passion and ambition .

So as it turns out to be, I am in deeper troubles than what i initially thought. And this is not going to be a cakewalk..its not easy , its more of the impossible. So its the time to do the impossible :)...As if i have any other option.
Right now ..i m nowhere , and interesting part is i have to get there as fast as possible..Crazy i know..n funny part is i dont have any doubts i m going to make it. Now the question is how . I have to find a way. There are few times in life when nothing short of extraordinary works...I guess this is one of those for me. Time to run as fast as possible. I know odds are not in my favour right now..as if i care.I need to do this, I am going to do this. Its going to be difficult...But then Difficult is always easy , Impossible just takes a little longer.
So dear, its the time to shine....Do it now, Little pain doesnt kill anyone , remember?
Who knows this might turn out to be the most memorable time of your life.Quitting is just not your thing!!!!!!!
Best of luck!

When I m in Luv

hey! dont think too much about the title, its just that i m listening this " uff teri ada " so i just wrote it as nothing else came to my mind.I know this is crazy but then, everything doesnt need to make sense in life .:P
Its 2'o clock , i have a surgery OPD tomorow. I just hope i get there , because jet lag can be a funny thing.
Last 2 months have been a different experience. At times Life moves fast and you just go with the flow. Does it ever happened to you , that you felt as if you were just a spectator in your own life. Strange, i know.
I went to many things , met so many people, experienced so many new emotions....It will take some time to sink in.
We never know ourselves, we dont even know what we want and we will never know what we will do untill we actually do it. This is stupid , random and sensless..just a flight of ideas. And then again ,everything doesnt need to make sense.
For last 4 years i was followed by this nightmare which turned out to be a dream in reality.You never know , what life has in store for u. Life happens when we are too busy planning for it.
At times i feel like looking back , just to steal a glance of past. It makes me smile , how i never knew my own story. I have stopped guessing the end now. Because i know i can never even imagine what future has in store for me.I just live in the moment. Lets see how the journey unfolds.

YOU ARE AN OPTIMIST, IF

Failures make you try-not cry-harder.
You hang in there for one more moment and make a difference.
You avoid self-pity & focus on self-improvement.
You don't burn with anxiety, but burn with to-do energy.
You know that most people are not against you, just thinking about themselves.
You know it's okay if you can't please people all the time.
You get charged, bit chagrined by changing circumstances.
You see that inconsistency too can be consistent & do not get upset by it.
You reach out despite the risk of being snubbed because it means a helluva lot to you.
You do not feel used, you feel useful.
You're committed to something larger than your little ego.
You look at troubles with a positive eye because you know they will pass while your positivity won't.
You work towards changing in small ways your uncomfortable outer circumstances & grow bigger than them in the process.
You think in your feet, speak from your mind, live from your heart & smile from your spirit.