There is so much to write..so many things have happened.
USMLE, Mom's recent heart attack,Didi's pre-eclampsia and GDM , Nonu's admission in NICU.
I am tired emotionally. Seriously. I need time. And a few friends , friends who are near.
I fail to understand why i m so stressed up. I shouldnt be. Life is fine , as planned. Something is bothering me , and i dont know what exactly.
Step 3 is on 12 feb...i am screwed up big time. But i am going to make it, like always. I like to study and the feeling i might save someone someday due to my knowledge keeps me going.
USMLE started as an escape , from things i didnt want to face. I ran away , for good.
But i have come a long way. I have come to terms with lots of things in life.
After i write my step 3 , i will spend sometime thinking. Thinking my vision in life, what i really want.
And i will write about few things i havent written before..few bad days of my life.
Few things which broke my heart . I have to let it go . I need to come out of denial.
Denial is not an escape..the best way through the pain is through.
I can be a workaholic , and not feel anything. But cant stop being a human.
I miss sunshine. I miss me.
There are few things i m trying to do , like being organized in life.Like not making excuses, saying No at the right times, cutting lose the ones not worth it.
And most important, not taking myself seriously.