LESSONS FROM MEDSCHOOL
I never expected 6 years could teach me so many things..i mean it feels like a different life when i look back and am a different person. When i started with it, i knew everything i wanted from life , where i wanted to be at the end of 10yrs , with whom , doing what .. and now after been there done that, i am clueless but atleast i have an open mind. This is what i learnt so far.
1.What goes around comes around-- ya life is short, so if there was 1 subject or even 1 topic that you didnt read with your heart, accept it honey it will haunt you forever , in 1 exam / next prof / enterance/ step..you will have to fix it sometime . There is just no escape.
2.When i study hard..work my soul out..the only way to know if i had a efficient day, is my handwriting at the end, if it looks like i have got parkinsonism, job was well done
3.All nighters are over rated ..though they are loads of fun. n yeah they are benign , you can go on to have a perfect day the very next day. Human body has all the reserve to work for 36 hours. All nighters doesnt really hurt your performance. If you know it ,its inside your head..no worries
4.Anxiety > coffee> coffee> More Anxiety > More Coffee...till caffeine receptors are downregulated and your neurons run out of all the spark and u doze off.
5.Sleep is a luxury...after all these years i can proudly say being a medico I can sleep anywhere( ward/ labour room/ casuality/ Lecture theatres) on any surface( bed/ table / chair/ LT desks) with any thing( books/ bones/food /lappy/fone) on my bed.
There are more to add ,which i surely will enumerate in my next study break
I go a little crazy before my exams ..so am trying to live upto my standards of madness.

This is no doubt the most happening year of my life. I have been moving forward with such a pace , that at times i wonder it might be just a dream. Everything around has changed and everyone i love in life is entering a different / new phase of their lives. Life changes fast . Change at most of the times is a little uncomfortable.
No one will understand my state right now, nor do i expect them too. May be when everything is over, may be when this all ends i might get the chance to undo the damage. At times i wish i had some more time . I hope things would be better post june. Hope floats.

Its one of those days when i just have to write. My CS is due in 4 days...and i am nervous. Time flies too fast..I am a little anxious/nervous and what not!
Frustration is the beginning of medicine , i just read somewhere. Finally its time for the next step..time to cross another obstacle.
The whole electives/ dean issue/ internship and CS scheduling has been a little disturbing and the to make things better i have some personal mess also.
Let bygones be bygones..The truth is finally i have 2 exams lined up ..Its time to be focussed...just 5 days N CS phewww!!!! i have to focus on this now...no more CK poping in my head...i m not even sure which exam is actually making me nervous CS Or CK
I guess all i have to do is be focussed on my CS..i can only handle 1 thing at 1 time...so i better take care of CS, because i wont get a single day back for it. and then i will do CK.
1 STEP at a time.

I am packing up my bags and yeah i m leaving my room and a phase of my lfe here.
Its a beautiful sadness...and i m not feeling sleepy. I want to feel this moment , and i know i will move on soon . But i guess tonight i am going to relive my college , my MBBS and the past 6 years.
6 years... long time , i know. So many things have changed ...I have been to heaven as well as hell. I have been in my share of mess, felt exhilarating highs as well as crashing lows.I have been hurt as well as healed. I have lived, i have felt alive.
There are so many things i want to write about...
I was never sure of doing medicine..n these years made me realize , how much i liked it..i was made for it. This wasnt a coincidence , it was my destiny. I was born to be a doc..n i luv every moment of it. When i am alone , hurt , broken my work give me pleasure and company. I am a workaholic and i luv every moment of it.
Friends change with time..people grow in different dimensions and we change.Its okay.
But there are few people who share part of your lives you can never forget.Invest in good friendships..its worth it. Trust people
Dont worry if you are not certain what to do about something..Answers will find you. just be patient even if its difficult.
Love , something you can never plan in life..dont take it for granted when it appears.The most beautiful thing about 1st love is the illusion it will never end.
Dreams , the only thing that keeps us going. Let no one tell you that your dreams are silly or impossible.Never let weeds grow around them ..Its your life , your vision , your journey...make it your masterpiece. Just because someone else failed , doesnt mean you will also get the same answer. Live your dreams
Success is sexy. The world remembers you as your last success. But failures define who you are. If you can rise up after a failure , thats real courage.Everyone wants to ride with you in a limo , when all you want is someone who can walk with you when the limo breaks down
You never know yourself..there are dimensions of you , you will keep on discovering.
Its an irony at times you will discover you never really wanted what you were running after, when all you really wanted was what you already had.Never mind!
Letting go or holding on to something , is not really a question. Let your heart answer it for you. Put aside the ego , hurt and your brain. AT times just do what your heart answers in a single breath ..what makes you truly happy. Take chances
And when the time comes just Move on...because there are new horizons to be discovered and new beginnings to be made. Life is short.

My goodness!! i have been in such a high intensity emotional melodrama for quite sometime. I was literally lost.Life's too short to live for somebody else's dream..live it for yourself thats what he said. and this time he was right, afterall he knew me for 13 yrs n considering the fact i m 22 right now, that makes it more than half of my lifetime.
I cant believe how could i forget what i wanted? how could i forget myself?
This is the time of uncertainity and confusion....its not that i m afraid,its just that lots of things are changing, i need time to adapt , adjust and realize what i really want.
To be honest i want to be left alone..with no emotional demands , no boundations , no promises.
I want this time for myself...ya just for me. i want to live my dream..expand my horizons..move on from this place and this phase...i just want to let go and let this experience sink in. Afterall its my life. I have a right on my time.I just want to live in this moment...not thinking what will happen next. I dont even care what has happened till now and what is going to be later...i just care about this moment ...and i want it just for myself.

This part of my life is called " Happyness"

I seriously have no clue what is happening right now..I mean i never planned this exactly..but somehow it feels gud..last few days of my internship left.
It seems perfect right now..gud work , gud studies n gud frns..
For a change i m not bothered what happens next...m just trying to live these 20 days...m not sure about anything , except one i m gonna miss my college days.

If

There are no ifs, and buts in life.There is no space for could have beens and would have beens...But still at times u miss what u never had.
Its soooo confusing..i m leaving rohtak in 20 days..i m moving on , i guess.There are some people who are gonna stay here and miss me.
What if i had just stayed back , if i had just given PG enterance , fallen in luv and lived here for some more time.I was happy here..i wish to come back after sometime..n i know things change with time..i might change with time.
If it was suppose to be , it would have been true by now. right? I guess this isnt my destiny....this was beautiful but it wasnt meant to be. And this is what i tell myself.